First Trimester Woes & Lows

I have some people to thank for getting me through the first few difficult months of pregnancy.  The light switch has not yet turned on, by the way.  I’m still waiting for that wonderful, glorious day when I am not completely exhausted and never know what to eat and how it will sit with my indecisive stomach.  But it is almost here, I know it.  Just another week or so and I’ll be out of the woods and nesting like a mad woman.  Watch out!

It’s funny because just a few days after The Hubs and I found out we were expecting, I started posting all my Advent Preparations.  It was only November 10th or so and I had some extremely “concerned” friends.  “Um, Mare.  What’s up with all the posts about Advent.  You’re making me feel like a complete slacker.”  Well, I knew it was only a matter of days before I was going to start feeling so exhausted and nauseous that I wouldn’t be up for doing anything.  All my energy would need to be reserved for the bare minimum:  Laundry, dishes, packing lunches, and maybe throwing together dinner.  Maybe.  So by the time the first Sunday of Advent rolled around, and all I wanted to do was sleep, pick at food, and sleep, it was a huge blessing to have everything Advent-related ready to go.  From the Advent Wreath to the little shrines to Mary, I was ready even when my body was on lock-down.

Now for the “Thank You”s.  And please, let me start by saying:  Pregnancy Brain is real.  I have it.  It is humbling and embarrassing and hilarious and real.  So if you reached out to me and did something wonderful during the past few months and I have no recollection of it whatsoever, please forgive me.  It is my pregnant brain’s fault.

Chrissy!  You are such a rock for me.  You take my phone calls and listen to me talk and talk and talk and talk and talk.  Thank you for being such a good listener, always ready to cheer me on and help me see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Sometimes your positive attitude was what caused my nausea during our conversations, but fruit-flavored Mentos got me through.

Sue!  Um, Sue.  You came to my house.  You made me your famous chicken soup, and it healed me.  I am not kidding!  Yes, I’m hormonal.  Yes, I’m irrational at times, but no, I am not kidding.  I needed you to come into my home and listen, talk, spend time, cook, laugh, be real.  Those are the things you do best!  Thank you for that.  I had not been able to eat a healthy meal in days and then, four bowls of chicken soup later, I was feeling like a human being again.  And to top it all off, you helped me cook three dishes for Thanksgiving dinner!  What a generous and loving friend you are.  Thank you, Sue!

Katie!  You are one generous gal.  Thank you for taking the two younger kiddos so that I could have some time to myself.  You already have two little ones yourself, so this was no small thing.  Just those couple of days really helped me with my, “Let’s take this one week at a time” approach.  Before I knew it, we had made it to another Friday without any bumps or bruises along the way.  You are a gem.

Teresa!  Thank you for being the kind of friend who I can call and say, “Can our family come over?  This Sunday?  Just a few days after Thanksgiving?  For dinner?  and S’mores?”  Not only did you not hesitate to say yes, but you even planned your menu around what I thought I could eat and what my children would like.  You welcomed all six of us into your beautiful home and your whole family embraced us.  And our more recent Saturday night hang-out time in my living room was just what I needed.  Thank you for always being so willing to come over here for our girl’s nights.

Michelle!  You came over to my house just days before Christmas and swept my floors, organized some toys, lifted and moved heavy boxes, folded laundry, and helped me whip my basement storage into shape.  You watched Social Butterfly so that I could attend a school event by myself (total luxury!) and, while doing all these things, you visited with me and chatted with me like girls do.  It was such an act of love and kindness, Michelle.  Thank you!

Erin!  I know you have been praying for me.  It has brought me so much peace to rest easy when praying for myself is just not happening, that you are praying for me, knowing so much of what I’m going through.  Thank you, dear friend!

Fr. Schierer!  Thank you for your excitement when I told you we were expecting.  I know you have been praying for our family, and we are beyond blessed to have you in our lives to support us with your prayers and to help us on our path to holiness with your guidance and wisdom.  You are one holy priest!  Don’t let it go to your head.

Mom!  I called Dad with an S.O.S. one Sunday night.  By Monday afternoon you were at my doorstep, potato soup and work clothes in hand.  I cannot tell you how loved you made me feel.  You worked your little tail off, doing all the things that I just didn’t have the energy to do, allowing me to rest and run errands alone and rest some more.  Thank you, Mom!

The Hubs!  You are, hands down, the Baby Daddy of the year!  Your generosity and selflessness move me to tears.  Thank you, dear Hubs, for leaving work early, putting up with pasta and pizza night after night, running to Chipotle to fulfill my burrito cravings, and taking me to the movies THREE TIMES in six weeks when dinner out seemed too risky with my persnickity stomach in charge.  Your “pregnancy reveal” to the children that you orchestrated from start to finish is just one of the many ways you show our whole family how dedicated you are to us.  Now get your retro Redskins sweatshirt on and go play as much Atari as you want to!  I won’t say a word.

To all the friends who have expressed your enthusiasm about the new addition to our family, thank you.  I know it seems silly, but five kids is a lot these days.  Many people out there in the world have lots of awkward and inappropriate things to say about our openness to God’s plan for our family.  We will have been married ten years in June.  In July we will have our fifth child.  Crazy people, we are.  Crazy about children and babies and giving our kids lots of siblings and well, crazy about life.  So when that awkward so-and-so has something to say about how crazy I am, well, it’s the excitement of our friends and family and their support that will help me to stay strong and not give in to the thought that well, maybe we are crazy.



Categories: Parenting


13 Responses to First Trimester Woes & Lows

  1. Mary….sorry that I didn’t know about the pregnancy. I would have LOVED to be there for you too. =) I am so glad to see that you have an army of friends to come to your aid. What a blessing! Here’s to hoping that your first trimester sends soon and on a happy note. Much love!

  2. you are blessed!! keep that at the forefront of your mind. we have six kids… i am very sick from conceiving through delivery and people have lots to say about it… BUT there is no greater joy to me than welcoming new life- such a total gift!! whether having your own or adopting, adding children to a faithfilled, Jesus loving family is amazing and awesome!!! may god continue to bless!!!! enjoy!!! and btw, i was one who was completely in awe of all the advent preparations… i couldn’t keep up with you 🙂

  3. and THANK YOU for being open to life, being willing to blog ur life, as a witness to us all. you rock. even if i was one of the main people who complained about what a slacker you’re preps made me realize i am… it also got me going. and pizza and pasta night after night? shoot, i’m not prego with #5 and i do that … a lot. you’re doing great! love you!

  4. So true about the getting strength from all the “encouragers”…though I’m sure you don’t take the negative comments to heart. But keep rocking baby no. 5 with pride!!

  5. I love this post. Such genuine honesty and candidness. I love it! So many congratulations my dear. I’m blessed to have been offering little Hail Mary’s from afar knowing how hard the early months can be and how only another mom who has been there can truly understand. Here’s to great days ahead and a little summertime babe to snuggle! Michael is praying for #5 here…he wants a brother. I must admit, I think it sounds like a lot. I think I need some time to sink into #4 who will be here in 7ish weeks….YIKES!!!

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