I’ve been thinking about blogging

Really, I have.  A hundred different ideas have come to mind over the past several weeks of not putting words into the blogosphere.  And yet, I just can’t bring myself to sit down and put my fingers on the keyboard.  I actually draft entire posts, complete with photos and anecdotes, and never write them.  “What’s wrong with me?” is usually what comes to mind when I walk in the office, sit down in the desk chair, and stare at the screen.  I look at all sorts of other better blogs.  I read post after post and pour over Facebook Blog Pages, Pinterest Boards, and Instagram accounts.  I think about all the amazing women who carve time out of their schedules to write and share and help and point in the right direction.  On the one hand I’m inspired, and, on the other hand, I feel guilty.  I’m serious.  I feel guilty that I haven’t blogged.  I know that’s quite possibly the silliest thing I’ve ever written, but it’s true.

Confession time.

I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder.  In the past, it’s been pretty mild, but lately, it’s pretty real.  Like, diagnosis-by-a-professional, let’s-buy-a-sun-lamp real.

So, as you can imagine, it’s difficult for me to find the energy and motivation to write.  And it’s so tricky, because, I know it will give me a boost to be creative here.  It always does!  But when you have SAD, you really struggle to complete even the most basic tasks.  And with a husband and five kids to take care of, well, I’m swimming in basic tasks.  Actually, I think the better visual would be treading water in basic tasks, doing my best to just keep my head up.

So yes, I’ve been thinking about blogging.  Please know that I am here, and I am doing everything I can, with the help of an aware and giving husband, to thrive this fall and winter.  I am growing in my empathy for those who struggle with depression year round.  What a heavy, heavy cross is must be to bear.

Let’s pray for each other, as I know there are so many of you who may be in the same boat.  What a consolation it is to know that we are all a part of the Mystical Body of Christ.

O Christ Jesus,
when all is darkness
and we feel our weakness and helplessness,
give us the sense of Your presence,
Your love, and Your strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
in Your protecting love
and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or worry us,
for, living close to You,
we shall see Your hand,
Your purpose, Your will through all things.
~Saint Ignatius of Loyola
St. Dymphna, Pray for Us!
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Categories: Reflecting

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14 Responses to I’ve been thinking about blogging

  1. it is funny. I think of you and I think of ‘wonder mom’… the mom who has perfect meals ready for her kids right after school and lots of fun crafty ideas…. so to hear you say that winter can be hard makes me feel a bit better about myself. I really, really am not liking the dark coming so soon during our days. I want my kids to be outside running around and I just keep thinking ‘ I really like the summer!’. I know we are blessed to experience the seasons, but they are not always easy. I run every morning just to get sunshine on my face– and a good dose of prayer time. I will pray for you and appreciate your post!

  2. Amen Mary. I hear your heart and think you’re fabulous, even when you feel you aren’t. You’re definitely in my prayers – please keep me in yours.

  3. mary, I love you I love you I love you and I pray for you and I offer you up and your amazingly adorable family and all the amazing generous things that you do for people and thoughts that you do for people that you feel like you don’t follow through with on your blog but it’s because you’re too busy being a mom and a friend in the non blogosphere but the real world. you are a rockstar. and everyone who reads this blog can see that. and anyone who reads any blog should know that if someone’s not writing for a while they need to know that that writer is a) too busy actively living their life with their family to blog in the blogosphere so we should applaud them and be happy to hear about it all whenever they feel like getting back and hope they take their sweet time, as they should; or b) imagine that maybe they could use our prayers (no need to go far fetched into imagining anything to complex or not, that’s not for us to get into). but any body could do well with a prayer or two. soo…. we will imagine both for you. we’ll say some prayers for you and pray that you can use this time to not worry about the blog and be with your fam. tell us whatever you want later. love you

  4. You are doing a super job with 5 great kids! I’ll pray for you. And let me know how that sun lamp works out. I’ve been trying to get out with Emma in the sun each day. I’ve always wondered how you amazing women do so many awesome things and then find the time to blog about it as well! Girl, basic tasks are going on around here too 🙂 And you gotta know that all bloggers have seasons. And some seasons they just can’t be blogging much. Then you can kick back into it later. Enjoy that sun lamp with a big cup of coffee and a book! You are gonna make it!! I’ll be swinging by for dance pick up later 🙂

  5. Hang in there Mary! Winter is tough. I am missing the long, sunshine days of summer. I will pray that you find peace this winter.

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