Tuesday, Apr 12
Continuing with my series about the story of our move to Indianapolis, I am going to share a little bit with you about how we broke the news to our children. It has been a long process, not all of which I’ll share here. Our experience so far has been a bit of a roller coaster. Just to re-cap, here are the other posts:
Our Moving Process, Part 4: Telling the Kids
Parenting is not easy. To date, telling our children that we are taking them out of their school on a Friday, moving them to Indiana, and starting them in a new school the following Monday has been the most difficult thing we’ve had to do. The thing is, it hasn’t been hard because of what we had to say. It’s been hard because we had to say it. Here are a few things we’ve had to tell the kids over the years and how they have responded:
Your pet hamster is dead.
Aw, that’s too bad! Can we get another one?
We’ve decided not to go to the beach this summer. Instead we’re just going to enjoy the pool and play in the yard.
Man! That stinks. Can we go next year?
You can’t go to see that movie, it’s too violent for someone your age.
Darn. How about when I’m thirteen?
It seems that all the tough news we’ve given our kids hasn’t been all that tough. Somehow there’s always a silver lining that they look toward on their own, which is great! But moving? The three month conversation has gone something like this (white lies included):
We’re putting our house on the market because we’d like to move, but we’re not sure where just yet.
But we love this house! What’s wrong with this house? Why do we have to move?
The house is under contract which means that in about six weeks, the buyers will own our home and we have to move.
I don’t get it. What’s a contract and why are we under it?
We’re flying to Indianapolis to go find a house for our family.
What? Why can’t we stay here? Why do we have to move so far away?!
We found a wonderful house for our family to live in. It’s less than half a mile from your new school and our new parish! Our new neighborhood is filled with kids, there’s a lake where you can canoe and fish, and there’s a community pool that’s close enough for you to ride bikes to!
The owners of the house we love accepted our offer. We will be the official owners of the home at the end of April!
Can we finish out the school year here?
We just found out that there are spaces for you at our new parish school now, and if we want to secure spots for all four of you, we have to move as soon as we close on the house here and in Indy.
Crying, losing sleep, bad dreams, acting out, arguments, and fighting.
See what I mean? This is hard! It hasn’t been all bad, though. There have been moments of peace, joy, and excitement too. At the end of the day, we have children who love deeply and are extremely loyal to their school, their friends, their parish, even their home. Those fiercely loyal devoted kids are showing us the depths of their love. There have been tears, there have been tough conversations, but you know, I am so moved by the effort they’re making to work through the emotions to get to the truth. They know, in their hearts, that they can trust us in this decision. And they know that we wouldn’t make a decision like this unless we believed it to be the best thing for our family. So the feelings and emotions are getting worked out and hopefully, over time, their big hearts and their intuitive little minds will feel and know that we can make a new home together, in a new house, a new school, a new parish, a new community, in Indiana. Thank goodness we have each other and a God who loves us to get through the adjustment!